The State of R&B and Other Black Entities

Before I get into this, why was this big girl in the cafeteria lookin at me like I was Thanksgiving dinner? I ran up outta there so damn fast.

I loves Whitney Houston, Lawd knows I do. But I'll kill her dead before I 'low her to announce Bobby Brown as the King of R&B!

I will expound. Why is it that when I turn on the radio I cannot find the sweet croonings of a good R&B ballad, but are instead confronted with (dare I say ASSAULTED with) some whiny tune by Terrorist Maria (Teahria Maria? I give up, plus who cares how you spell that ghetto bitches' name). She has committed a treasonous terrorist attack upon my sensibilities and therefore is no excuse for her to have a deal. She must be better at suckin dick than Supahead, because bitch can't sing. I mean, shit, if you can't sing you at least gotta be able to dance and look cute (see: Christina Milian, Ciara). She ain't have a daddy growin' up, that's why she's wild and I'm throwin up! How did Jay-Z sign this girl. Whip him, Bee. Whip him like he's Ike and love-aint-got-shit-to-do-with it!

Mess? Mess.

Why is it that when I turn on the radio I am not soothed by the smooth vocals of a Babyface or a Tevin? Black people, can we talk for a minute? Instead, my ears are contoured into shapes Bobby Brown's feet have even yet to take hold of by the likes of Omarion and Ray-Ject. Brandy, I love you, but I hate your alien ass brother and his whining.

Why when I turn on BET, do I not see any enlightening programming. All I see is unadulterated ignorance produced by black people distrubuted by white people which in turn dumbs down black people who go on to produce more ig'nant productions. (I downloaded Trina's pilot that was linked by Fresh of Crunk & Disorderly. LMAO, it is so bad that it's almost good. Hilarious.) I do not want to see any more ugly ass KFC models grindin on gold-toothed crackheads! Wake up, BET! Wake up, my black people!

Girlfriends is like the only high quality black show on. And it's produced by a white man! Think about that.

As India put it, "give me my Stevie, give me my Donny... I don't need no Hollywood". Amen, Arie. [I'm mad at you though, because I purchased a ticket to your show and you cancelled on a brotha. I'ma still get your new album on the 6th, though.]

Thank Allah we have the good artists we do have in the modern black (young) arena: Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, D'Angelo (how does it fee-eel? why don't i come over and find out? his sexy self), Musiq, India Arie, among others. Did I leave anyone out?

"You left out Alicia Keys!!!!!!! You left out John Legend!"

No I didn't, sit down ASAP. I will save my disdain for Alicia Keys to a whole 'nother post, because it will surely fill up quickly. Tell me why this bitch [who needs to be hit with a bottle] is so highly acclaimed? Actually don't tell me, because I know she is horrendous and terrible. Alicia don't feel "trapped in the closet", it's ok, we know you're a dyke and we accept it! Just not your awful music. Let me stop before my eye starts twitchin and I start foamin' at the mouth like R. Kelly sittin at home recordin' Cheetah Girls, pissin himself [and others] with glee.

John Legend, I actually like. But they act like he is the only talented black singer/songwriter in the industry! And he needn't ever touch a Luther record again. He musta been "so high" when he decided to tackle "A House Is Not A Home" on the BET 25th Messiversary. He, like Luther, needs to/shoulda came out the closet ASAP. No excuses.

On another note, where is Lauryn? I have heard reports of her havin all kinds of singles out, but haven't heard a got damn single! What's the deal, Miss Hill?

I will end with this. Black people, stop supporting these terrible black artists. Just because we share the same skin tone, doesn't mean we need to share our money. [Although the likes of Keyshia Cole and Remy Ma could sure use it to fix up their horrendous hair.] Do not support people who glorify gangster violence and drug dealings. If you went and saw Get Rich or Die Tryin', you should be shot nine times.

I have long ago given up hope on black radio and television.

And that's real.