Unintelligible

*THE GOLDEN GLOBES, I LOVE NEW YORK, AND A SPECIAL CHARLES X REMIX TO IRREPLACEABLE*

Cold blooded! The only Golden Globes Dreamgirls lost were the ones associated with Beyonce: leading actress and best song. I'm sorry but she was pity nominated and I think everyone knew she was about to beat Meryl Streep with her weak acting. She took it in stride though and applauded her fellow cast members as they won. Congratulations, Jennifer Hudson! (Cause this time, Effie Whiiiiite is gonna win!) Hopefully this is the beginning of a successful career. She's been under fire recently from the gays, but I am standing by her! I don't agree that she said anything homophobic as the evidence is from a shitty biased article, but to each her own. Eddie Murphy won too- clap clap, I guess. His vocals were better than most expected, but still that's nothing compared to the voice that Jimmy Early is really supposed to have. He is a soul singer, not whatever the hell Eddie Murphy was screeching on "Patience".

I LOVE NEW YORK

Who watches I Love New York For The Hours Of Free Exposure Her Outrageous Antics Afford Me and My Career? You know that you do. With much conflict in my soul, I do as well. Today acting like an uneducated banshee in the wilderness is rewarded with laughter, applause, acclaim, and television deals. I despise Paris Hilton for this, so why shouldn't I equally despise New York?

One difference is that New York is obviously just an extremely drunken amateur actress who has incredible comedic timing and self awareness despite her CONSTANTLY drunken stupor. It's obvious that both her and her mother have serious problems with alcohol abuse and many of the contestants have obvious drug problems themselves.

I found it odd to watch the show on MLK Day. What would the doctor say about this show? You know he would hate it and possibly even speak out about it. I'm just speculating, I don't know. And then again while he is such an important part of the civil rights movement, his opinion isn't/wasn't the end all and be all of black affairs.

Is acting out the show's namesake of loving New York wrong for a progressive black person or any person for that matter? I want your opinion!

Anypoodle, Clay Cane isn't the only one who had a recent run in with Beyonce. I approached the singer about doing a special remix to her #1 song "Irreplaceable" and here are the lyrics I am presenting to her.

UNINTELLIGIBLE

*intro begins*

To the left, to the left.

To the left, to the left.

Mmmm.

Verse 1

To the left, to the left.

My comma, period, and syntax to the left
out to pasture, cause I cain't talk yes
If it's a book, I just don't touch (don't touch!)
I can sing a song just fine, but I can't seem to think and talk at the same time and
it's my name that I can't spell
the last word I spelled right was TRL

Jay-Z standing in the front yard telling me
that I talk like a fool
TALKIN' BOUT
me and Kelly need Hooked On Phonics toooooo
He got me twisted!

He mustn't not know bout me
He mustn't not know bout me

If the script doesn't have some kinda singing in it,
then my mind won't be able to comprehend it, baby

He musn't know bout me
He must not not know bout me

I could read a Dr. Seuss book in a minute
but don't you ever for a second get to thinkin
that it matters if I'm unintelligible

Told my teachers poof be gone
Who needs grammar when yo weave is done
I bet yall think that I didnt know
the secret to acting is squinting your eyeballs!
So what I support George Bush?
I feel him cause we have the same IQ-hooo!
I get tired of interviewing,
I gotta hurry up before the thought train leaves!


Jay-Z standing in the front yard telling me
that I talk like a fool
TALKIN' BOUT
how I need a speech coach toooooo
He got me twisted!

He mustn't know about me
He must must not... me?

I can, like, talk for minutes and minutes
as long as there's no substance in it, baby

He must not not not me
He must must... aw fuck it.

I could recite a Neyo lyric in second
but don't you ever for a second think I'm thinkin... I'm still unintelligibllllllle!
********************************

So do you think she'll work with me? Alicia Keys was pleased with the remix I did with her early last year, she even went as far as to send a steaming pile of shit to my door step.