Desperate Rent-wives With Pride & Prejudices Against Potters (While Drinkin Your Juice Watchin Real World)

I am ghetto, I know it. I had enough money, but I stole anyway. Yes, yall, I DID IT! I sat up in that movie theater (sat up in that movie theater til I thought like I's bout to rot to death) and I watched THREE movies in a row.

After the first movie, my parents left and I decided to stay and catch two more movies on the sly.

Pride & Prejudice

I read the book this movie is based on. In fact, I did my senior English research paper on this book (written by Jane Austen) and it was a good read. If you're into classic novels, I recommend it. Anyways, the story was on point, of course, and thankfully so was the acting. Keira Knightley carried the movie nicely as the rebellious, intelligent Elizabeth Bennett. However visually and musically pleasing the movie is, the screenplay adapters neglected to further develop the unique romance between Elizath and Mr. Darcy; the main storyline in the book. Overall, the movie was enjoyed by both me and my parents, and I think any of you would like it. However good it may be, wait til DVD to go see it. The big screen isn't necessary for this romantic timepiece.
Grade: $$$ [three out of five]

Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire



Let me just say, I find the Harry Potter books to be fascinating and extremely engaging. But the movies? They aight. The problem is they just keeping getting more boring and boring as the movies roll out. The screenplay adapters just leave too much necessary storyline out of the movies that keep you engaged in the book.

Point blank: this movie was fuckin' boring. If you have kids that like Potter, then take them to see it. But if you are an intelligent adult, then save the $ and just read the book over again. It will be time spent much more wisely. The movie gets way better in the last fifteen minutes, but that isn't enough to salvage the whole film for me.

Oh well, at least I saw the movie for free! Hated it!

Grade: $ [one out of five]

Rent



Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure how much I love this movie? You really can't, because I am in love with it, from beginning to end. I guess I should start off with saying that I'm a huge musical fan, so if you don't like musicals, this may not be the film for you. However, just because you don't like musicals, don't shut this film out.

I don't think I can do the movie justice here. But it dealt with a lot of issues like HIV and homosexuality in a positive and uplifting light, while still being realistic about the epidemic. It really showed that people with different lifestyles love the same as everyone else, and I believe this movie can have a big impact on the way people look at others.

The music and the dancing is really really on point. The lyrics to the songs are relevant and moving, and they had me emotional the entire movie, ultimately leading to me crying like it's an episode of Oprah and my daddy used to beat me. Let me stop. GO SEE IT!

Grade: $$$$$ [five out of five]

In television...

Desperate Housewives: This show has been seriously lacking in the entertainment department this season. Until last Sunday! The show was so hilarious and dramatic. You have got to love Gabrielle fighting for her man WITH A NUN! Lynette is a hot mess for gettin all those people fired. Now the shit backfired on her and she's not gonna get to spend much time with her kids. I'd take that as a blessing, because those Bebe's kids of hers need to be put up for adoption, STAT! Susan is dumb as usual, fuckin up errybody's life. You would think she was Edie or something (they need to use her more often). Who else is there? OH SNAP!

Bree! She was so BLACK when she pulled out that shotgun and finally started goin gangsta on her crazyass boyfriend. I was so tired of him! Thank the lawd he killed himself before Bree had to call Uncle Ray Ray and handle business.

Real World (Reunion Show): This mess is comin' on in eleven minutes and you know I will not be missing it. I'll let you know what I thought. I'm sure Bol-of-Ignorance over at byroncrawford.com will be reviewing the show as well. Why did I even advertise his ass like that?

Anyways, let me know what YOU think about what's goin on in movies, television, and other wastes of time this week!

*Janet Jackson serious voice* EDIT!

So the Real World Reunion Show was straight up scandalous. They put everybody's business out there like it was a Supahead novel. Negromiah was yelling at Danny for thinkin' he's Ben Affleck, Danny was yelling at Lacy for talkin so much shit (which she did), Rachel admonished and then forgave Wes & Niggamiah. It was so scandalous, people started crying. That is the perfect end to this BORING-ASS season. Oh well, The Gauntlet 2 starts next week, and you know I love me some Real World Vs Road Rules!

Oprah Today: Tell me why she had Kirk Franklin's [homosexual] ass on the episode talkin about he is addicted to porn. They completely failed to mention it was most likely GAY porn. I kid you not. In seventh grade, I read his autobiography and he hinted heavily several times that he was bisexual/homosexual [just like 50 did in his book, which I didn't read]. OK OK, maybe that wasn't supposed to be the point of the show. Oprah will save him for "The Down Low Part II" (nevermind, I hope she never touches that issue again!)

Anyways, Oprah is so dayum rude, always interruptin' folk before they can finish a sentence.

Kirk: Yes, and the porn was so-
Oprah: So did you MASTURBATE while looking at the porn?
Kirk: Well, ya see-
Oprah: Did it AROUSE you?

And as usual, Golden Girls and Roseanne are on point in reruns [Lifetime and Nick @ Nite, respectively]

Let Me Know!