Empathy Vs. Condescension (Edited)

Ariel

Which DISNEY character are you most like?
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Why is my shit postin my times all wrong? Fix me!

I got this off Kathi's site. You know, that cool white lady you seen on all the black blogs. I'll link it up later, I like her. Anyways, Ariel has been my nig since I was two, so I already knew I was gonna get her on this here quiz. You see, I was even a gay two year old, watching this movie EVERY morning and wishing I was "part of that world". My mom should have had no question.

But anyways, enough of the maid. One of the issues I had today was empathy vs condescension and when is the line crossed? Is there a line?

Let me give yall the background. As a child I was always empathetic for people less fortunate than me. I would get in trouble for giving my whole allowance to my poor friends and I would attempt to give my Christmas presents away to people that didn't get that many. Believe you me, I am NOT that nice now, but I still hold some of that with me. One time, after a Boy Scouts camping trip [woo, that was a failed attempt at making me more into "boy things" and less into "girl things" like theater] I saw this homeless man standing on the corner with a sign. I immediately BEGGED my mom, tears streamin, to let me bring him some Pizza Hut [still my favorite pizza, big baybeeeh!] So my mom bought ME some Pizza Hut, and got the homeless man an apple from her little lunch bag. On the way back from Pizza Hut, we stopped by the spot the homeless man was standing by to give him the apple and he was gone. I was a cryin' mess. My mom tried to convince he was an angel and I was going to be blessed. And I believed her.

For a few years.

And now, I'm eighteen and I'm much more self-centered. I still enjoy helping people, but if I can't help everyone, my world isn't ending.

This morning [as I was up earlier than a prepubuscent orgasm doing an essay], the janitor came into the computer lab. He looked really sick, and already being old and overweight, he didn't need to be doing strenuous labor, so I picked up all the paper that people left on the floor. I was prepared to shake my head at the mess on the floor until I realized that some of the gum wrappers were my own. I picked up the mess he couldn't pick up and put it in his trash can as he thanked me. I looked him in the eye, and I didn't know what I was seeing.

Was he happy as a custodian? This couldn't be where he saw himself in life, could it? Was my helping him condescension or empathy? When a black, middle class student feels sorry for and reaches out to help a white poverty [assuming, but not trying to make an ass out of me or u] stricken elderly man, which is it: help or hurt?

I don't know, I just felt like I could be possibly like the mayor's wife on The Color Purple. She genuintely thinks she is helping blacks and being non-racist but she is really being condescending and racist in her "helpful" tactics".

Let ME Know.

*Janet Jackson on All For You voice* EDIT!

Rent Part II

So I went and saw Rent again, and this time I brought along three people who hadn't seen it before. It was much more enjoyable this time around, as I thought I could anticipate my favorite parts (hell almost the whole movie is my favorite part) and already get ready for the parts I'm bout to cry on.

I was dead wrong.

Tell me why I was gettin emotional and they hadn't even sung one word yet? Something about this movie just really speaks to me and makes me FEEL the characters and get to love them. I just knew I was going to be a mess by the end.

At the end of the movie, I looked around. My girl Lisa was sobbing like it was Oprah's series finale. On the left of me is Cody and Blair who are weeping silently, tryna be strong, but you know they needed to just let it all out. And me in the middle of them all, cryin reminescent of a hearing-abled person at a Mary J Blige concert [she screams; don't FRONT!] and scolding all my friends on "bein such gay ass pussies up in here!" LOL.

The thing about Rent is that it represents so many issues that I've been dealing with and supressing emotionally; the movie only served to bring out these issues and allow me to release. For example, my childhood best friend. Grew up with this girl since we were TWO! She loves Rent even more than I do. However, when asked about it she always has to preface it with "although I don't approve of the homosexuality...I love..." And I think that is fucked up. After all her years of knowing me, and after seeing these real characters she fell in love with, she still has to preface it with that. I was thinking about that as I watched the movie today. I was thinking about my mom and why she won't watch the movie. And how she wants me to change. And how she wants me to live some Donny McClurklin fake fairy tale lie of becoming a heterosexual and being "delivered" from homosexuality. So that weighed heavily on the emotional side of watching the film, in addition to the emotional effects that the movie causes.

As the credits ended, we all looked at each other. "We are so fuckin' gay", I said lovingly and honestly as we stood up to exit the theater.