A Drunken Post. Amen

This is my first drunk post. I cried tonight. On his shoulder. His shoulder. Daniel's shoulder. He made me feel better about it all. Even though he was part of the problem, it wasn't his fault, and he comforted me. Some girl started telling me about Jesus. This prompted me to cry. I have been concrete in my beliefs for a while until this pretty black girl with a India Arie-esque glow stgarted telling me about the JOY of JEsus. How she CARED so much about how I would experience joy if I accept him...and that's ALL I have to do...accept him and not judge others. I don't think that's right. She said to ignore the old testament...then what'st the point of it? Oh, the drunken woes of a gay man! The drunken woes. I cried on Daniel's shoulder. I cried on him in the car. It felt the best, indeed. I told him how I felt rejected from everyone and everything. I had only told him that. I told him everything, I think, as I cried on his shoulder. It felt the best.

Tonight I danced with a 40 year old woman to Prince at a professor's party. He was a professor but wouldn't profess that he professed as a professor at my university. But the truth was professed by Chelsea who professed her undying love for the professor who professed his undying admiration for his girlfriend; Chelsea professed this hurt her deeply as the professor would never return the feelings she professed about the professor.

I think I'm going ot throw up.

Tonight I danced with a 40 year old woman to Prince. She was not the best dancer, but she was the most honest. I loved it. She was white. And 40. And not that pretty.She was from Indiana and she was too old to be dancing with an 18 year old, by most standards. Yet we danced. To James Brown. We danced like we were made in the 70s. She was made in the 60s. Or 50s. I was made in the 80s. We pretended otherwise. I had fun and so did everyone else, I think. I really shouldn't be this intoxicated. So then we got back to this other party where the well-intentioned girlk told me beautiful messages about eternal life. She confused the FUCK out of me. I don't know which way is up. Or Down. Or Sideways. Or Brown!

The Jesus girl is instant messaging me. About a musical? Daniel is instant messaging me. He's quite nice. Nichole is instant messaging me. I should go to sleep, really. All of these conflicting messages are driving me mad.

I've been rejected my everything. By school, by my father, by church, by Daniel, by a recent job (that fellow white idiots got instead of me. seriously. what the fuck), by..........God. I feel like a REJECT.

This is my first drunk post.

Amen.